Beauty

What is our obsession with beauty? Or, to put it another way, why are we so OBSESSED with being 'perfect' or 'sexy' or 'stunning' or.... 'fake'. 

The fashion world has gone, in my opinion, too far in its quest for beauty. A beautiful woman who, 50 years ago, would be considered a pin up would today be called fat.  A woman who was once seen as too thin and boyish is the epitome of beauty in our modern society. It seems that there is a certain ideal that we must all aspire to. This, to me, is wrong. 


Take Marilyn Monroe, for example. She was once considered one of the most beautiful women on the planet. She was the subject of many mens desires. She was a highly sexualised pin up of the 50's and 60's. She was gorgeous. Yet she was naturally a size 14 (UK) - which is incidentally the average dress size for UK women. No one wanted a bag of bones, they wanted curves and breasts. They desired a healthy woman. If she was to launch herself today as an actress and model she would be labelled 'plus size' and would not be recognised in the same way. At all. You may hear people talk about her positively, but who can honestly say that she would have the sex appeal and the popularity today as she did 60 years ago? If it wasn't for Twiggy, our models would probably still look like this.

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Girls as young as 5 are beginning to feel concerned about their appearance. They wear make-up and have piercings and wear short skirts and heels. We are encouraging children to sexualise themselves and this gives raise to pedophiles, praying on innocent, naive young girls who don't realise the image they are putting across to horny men. Our mothers do not stop this. There are many women that encourage their young child to dress inappropriately because it is 'cute'. Their children are becoming fake, 'plastic' and often resemble Lolita. And we all know how that story goes...


Even Barbie has changed. She portrays the commercial view of what a beautiful woman should look like. And girls aspire to be her. If she were a real person with the correct proportions she would be something like, 9ft tall and 100llb which would make her severely malnourished and probably dead. Is this the kind of role model children need?

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Our current idea of beauty has stretched so far as to give a huge rise in eating disorders, particularly among teen girls. Now, it has been suggested that an eating disorder is genetic, but only occurs through triggering. Often that triggering is the media's portrayal of beautiful, perfect women. Most of these women have been photoshopped and people do not seem to acknowledge that these models' skins are not blemish free, their legs aren't that thin and that their faces are symmetrical. Some of the triggering comes from experiences at school, for example. If you are even a little bit overweight, or perhaps you aren't what they see as attractive (even if you are) then you will be bullied horrendously. I experienced this first hand for the majority of my school life, and still experience it now. It cuts you to the core, and whilst this bullying may be down to jealousy (as often you ARE beautiful and you ARE smart and you ARE thin), you will believe it. You will look in the mirror and all you will see is a fat, ugly freak who no one loves. Trust me, I experience this on a daily basis. Sometimes, this can become extreme and lead to BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder) which is associated with OCD, Anorexia and Bulimia. 


Do we really need to starve ourselves in order to be beautiful? 


In theory, no. Everyone will openly state that they are NOT pro-ana. Modelling agencies state that their models need to be (UK) size 8-10. But how many of those catwalk models do you REALLY think are a size 8-10? How many do you really think are encouraged to eat healthily, to exercise with caution etc? 

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Beauty is NOT what you see on the catwalk. It is NOT what you see in the magazines or on the TV. If you look around you, there is virtually no one who looks like them. At all. Our desire to be beautiful should be based upon intellect and personality, not on the external appearance. I know this is what everyone says, but come on, if you see couples on the street, how many of them are what the industry labels as beautiful? Beauty comes from within you, and relationships aren't built on looks alone. The reason I have gone on a rant that doesn't even make sense is because I KNOW HOW IT FEELS. I experience this pain everyday. Perhaps I am a hypocrite, because I will starve myself. I will work to lose weight. I will look in the mirror and feel ugly. I will look in the mirror and feel fat. I will feel unloved and unwanted. But this does not make me right. No one will ever be 100% content with themselves, but we can still believe this is true. We can still KNOW it is true, even, because true beauty comes from within us. And everyone is beautiful in their own way. And just because I have issues, it is not because of the industry, because I disagree with their perceptions, hey are personal issues and nothing to do with them. So shoot me...

Christmas and all that...

So...first off I would like to say Merry Christmas to you! Hope it has been a wonderful day for everyone and that you got everything that you wished for.

Main present was my MacBook Pro (which I paid £679 toward so it not particularly a present, but it is awesome all the same) :) the Webcam is so fun!!:

... and here is a silly one for good measure :):

Anyhoo..been a good day. Stuffed my fat gob all day, I bet I have gained half a bloody stone today. Feel awful...no guys will EVER want me now. UGHGHGHHG. But Tv was good, Ben got Xbox Kinekt thingy and it is so random and funny :)

Still thinking about my whole situation at the moment...lots of guys seeming interested in me. However there was only one who has been so unbelievably sweet and I dunno if that is just him or whether he interested in me. Either way he is a very nice person and made me feel special the other day :) The other guys are just horny...but funny. :)

Tomorrow I have to work. F.M.L!!! haha Really don't WANT to get up early and go into frigging Debenhams for 9am! UUUGGHH

Anyhoo..watching 'Come Fly With Me' then beddy byes :)

Another Blog

Ok, so it turns out I made a wordpress blog ages ago.
Here is the link: http://littlemissphotographer92.wordpress.com/
I am not sure whether I prefer wordpress or Blogger...opinions?

Photo's I took at the Exeter Protest against fees - Weds. I led the College march ;)

No 'ifs', No 'buts', No education cuts!

As you will be aware (if you live in the UK or you keep on top of UK affairs) our new government is deciding to cut EVERYTHING. ... pretty much. They want to destroy our country, why?

At the moment, I am in my second year of 6th form and I had planned to take a 'Gap Yah' to travel back to Malawi, the place I love so much. However, the government has proposed a raise in University Tuition Fees. It will go from £3,290 to a whopping £9,000  (although may I point out that this will be the MAXIMUM). Therefore I will not be able to go on my 'Gap Yah' anymore, instead I have had to contact all my Universities and ask to be considered for 2011 entry, of which most have OK-ed it. I didn't WANT to go, but my family has forced me into it.

I have bee taking part in the nationwide protests against the proposed increase in fees, because I do not agree with it at all. I can safely say that I am incredibly proud of everyone who has taken part so far, we have done so well. I was really impressed with the way everyone acted last Tuesday when we launched a spontaneous sit-in at the College. We managed to grab the attention of our SU, who are now fully backing us and supporting a further protest this coming Wednesday (of which I hope to lead somewhat :D, just for LOLs). We are being associated with the Exeter Anti-Cuts Alliance who are based at the Uni, and Rob Edwards (one of the leaders) has told us to stay separate from the SU, yet the SU told us to separate from the EACA! Oh dear, maybe we should just do what we want?

I got into a massive argument yesterday with a supposed friend and her boyfriend who put up a shit argument as to why the government is OK to cut the Arts and Media. I completely oppose the idea, of course, because art is an integral part of our society and without the ability to express ourselves freely it seems that we would no longer be living in a democracy, instead more a dictatorship. Arts and the media are important for many reasons:

• Without them we would not have the internet, television, games, newspapers, films, clothes, buildings, appliances, photography, cars, ANYTHING
• It's not just about art as in paintings, it's museums, theatres, Universities and more that will be affected

• The Arts and the Media are things that earn billions of pounds for our country each year, without them we would be in an even bigger recession.
• People ENJOY them, for many reasons. They enable a freedom that cannot be gained through things such as science.
• If we don't have the arts and the media, we may as well cut EVERYTHING ELSE, because everything has some aspect of these two subjects. For example, English Literature is a subject based on the arts, History relies heavily on them, as does philosophy and even psychology. If we cut Arts and Media, it would appear that we should cut these other subjects, despite them being among the most popular university degree courses for the country.
• EVERYONE is creative in some way, and they should be encouraged to express that creativity in whatever way they can. We should not, as my friend said, let them "find it out for themselves" because that is ridiculous.
• Artists don't do it for money, they do it because they love it. If they make lots of money, that is an added bonus.
• There are so many arts and media based degrees, if we cut them many Uni's will have to close. 
• Art and media is a way of communicating stories, opinions etc. It has been an important part of our world since cavemen began drawing on the walls, and since humans began to communicate.

Art and media brings so much more to our culture than the above points, but I would be here all night if I listed them all. I am still shocked that my friend felt that way, and that she let her boyfriend insult me in that cruel and degrading manner. That's not very friend-like to me :( And their arguments were not very good, so I have no idea why they shot me down so much. What is funny is that as soon as I mentioned films, he agreed with me. Funny that! YES, people are entitled to their own opinions, but it does NOT make it ok to call someone a 'stupid cow' for fighting for what they believe in, especially when they cannot present a good argument!.... Anyhoo, anyone who thinks that arts and media should be cut should go and live somewhere where humans have not affected the landscape, or even visited, because that way they will not be around ANYTHING that has any link to arts or media.

Rant over..... HAHA

Is there something wrong with me?

4100) When girls with gorgeous bodies tell me their weights, and they weigh more than me, I look at myself and wonder what other people see. I wonder why I feel so fat and disgusting, when I can clearly see that they're beautiful.

4091) I wish people understood that you don’t have to be underweight to have an Eating Disorder.

 

4056) I can feel myself slipping into an ed, some days i care but most of the time I wish it would happen faster.

Why do these appeal to me so much? :/

poem I wrote ages ago about love...

It seems to me that love is a daydream,
Happy,
Perfect,
Beautiful.
You are blissfully unaware of reality,
Pain,
Loss.

You can’t get him off your mind
He’s your first thought when you wake
Your last thought when you fall asleep.
You are so in love
You cannot imagine your life without him
And you cannot remember how you lived,
Survived,
Before him.

He makes you feel complete.

Lying in his arms you feel safe,
And the rest of the world disappears.
Your fingers entwine
And you can’t help but smile.
You kiss him and you feel like you are flying
Your head spins round
As you realise there’s nowhere else in the world
That you would rather be.

The first time he said those words
Those 3 beautiful words
I love you.
And you know he meant it.

You tell your friends of your love
Your plans.
You swear he’s the one,
And that you will never love someone else
Because in your eyes he is perfection
And you don’t care what anyone else says.
You are in love.

You are so young.
You give everything to him
Begging for it all in return
And if you don’t get it you feel worthless
Selfish
Insecure.
You wonder how he could love you
Want to be with you
For all you see in the mirror is ugliness
And you want never to lose him
As you fear you will never find someone like him
For the rest of your life.

You believe everything that he says
Trust in him entirely
For he said those 3 words
I love you.

You let yourself get caught up in his mistakes
His lies
Because you think it’s just a one off.
You need him
You cannot cope without him.
He hurts you
But you forgive
Because you are so caring,
Even though your friends say he’s not worth it.
It all comes down to those 3 words
I love you.

EP - random scribblings

© Becky Snowden, 2010!
I’m quite chuffed considering I just wrote it off-the-cuff cos I had a sudden idea, I do waffle a bit, what do you think?

‘In undertaking such a project as a research into autobiography, one should realise that they are always written with a certain aim or purpose in mind, thus rendering he work somewhat biased. One must also consider the fact that memory is crucial to works of this genre, but this memory is, as DuBois writes, “always incomplete, and often unreliable” because “there are difficulties; memory fails especially in small details.” (pp. 12-13). The combination of these factors, with the addition of the author’s personal opinions and prejudices ultimately affect the outcome of an autobiography which leads critics to view the works with a skeptical eye. One must study the facts carefully and allow for mistakes or omission of key events/factions, or the misrepresentation of events to achieve the desired effect.’

I love writing! As I said, I do waffle, but I think it makes sense?
© Becky Snowden, 2010! (just in case ;D)

The Raven - Edgar Allan Poe

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore, While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. `'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door - Only this, and nothing more.' Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December, And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor. Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore - For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore - Nameless here for evermore. And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before; So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating `'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door - Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; - This it is, and nothing more,' Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer, `Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore; But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping, And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door, That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; - Darkness there, and nothing more. Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before; But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token, And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!' This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!' Merely this and nothing more. Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning, Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before. `Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice; Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore - Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; - 'Tis the wind and nothing more!' Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter, In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore. Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he; But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door - Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door - Perched, and sat, and nothing more. Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling, By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore, `Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven. Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore - Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!' Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.' Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly, Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore; For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door - Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door, With such name as `Nevermore.' But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only, That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour. Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered - Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before - On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.' Then the bird said, `Nevermore.' Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken, `Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store, Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore - Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore Of "Never-nevermore."' But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling, Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door; Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore - What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore Meant in croaking `Nevermore.' This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core; This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er, But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er, She shall press, ah, nevermore! Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor. `Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore! Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!' Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.' `Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! - Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore, Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted - On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore - Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!' Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.' `Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore - Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn, It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore - Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?' Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.' `Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting - `Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore! Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken! Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door! Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!' Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.' And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door; And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming, And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor; And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor Shall be lifted - nevermore!

I realised something...

So, I was reading something on Tumblr today about this girl and she suffers with Body Dysmorphic Disorder. I decided to research this and I think that I have this, in at least a mild form. This makes a lot of sense to me. 

I have always struggled with my appearance and seem to have a completely distorted opinion of myself; I always think that I am fat ugly etcetc. I pick out my flaws all the time and whenever someone compliments me I struggle to believe them in any way. There is nothing about myself that I like. This links to my OCD, Eating issues and lack of self-confidence. The definition online is:

Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a condition where a person spends a lot of time worried and concerned about their appearance. A person with this disorder may:

• focus on an apparent physical defect that other people cannot see, OR
• have a mild physical defect, but the concern about it is out of proportion to the defect.

For example, a person may think that he or she has a skin blemish or an odd shaped nose. However, no-one else can see the defect, or the blemish would be considered trivial by most people. The person becomes preoccupied with the imagined defect, or slight defect. For example, he or she may spend a lot of time looking in the mirror at the apparent defect, or wear camouflaging make-up to hide the defect.

The thought of the defect is very distressing for people with BDD. In some cases the condition can have a great impact on day to day life and functioning. For example:

• Many people with BDD will avoid social situations, or even avoid going out from the home. This is because they fear that their imagined or trivial defect will get undue attention from other people.
• Some people with BDD consult a cosmetic surgeon to have the imagined or trivial defect corrected.
• Some people even become suicidal because of the distress caused by this condition.

As I said, I am no way near the extreme of it but it makes perfect sense to me. And I have been feeling really down recently and this does offer me some closure.