I am a Feminist!

I say, shouting from on top of a chair, because Caitlin Moran told me to. 

Evidently, I am not the stereotypical feminist that everyone will think of if one says the dreaded word ‘Feminism’. I don't burn my bras. I haven't decided that my blatant heterosexuality is holding me back in the world thus have gone to the 'other side' (or is it the 'same side'?) to pursue the pleasures of the flesh that only a woman can satisfy. I don't NOT wear make-up or dress nice. I don't lecture others on the patriarchy (too often) and so on. No, I am not any of these things and if you look at me, you probably wouldn't think that I am a feminist. 

One argument, which I agree with, and which Caitlin Moran discusses in her book How to Be a Woman (which has become my new bible) is that, whilst only 52% of our population would admit to being a feminist, probably more than that are feminists without realising it. If you, as a woman, have a job, then you are a feminist. If you want to be equal to men, you are a feminist. If you want to have the right to choose who you date, marry, divorce and so on, you are a feminist. If you want the right to look how you like, not to impress others, but because it's how YOU want to look, then you are a feminist. If you want the choice as to if and when you have children, and use contraceptives like the Pill, you are a feminist. I could go on for hours. Whilst I should really add 'probably' before 'feminist' each time, because it may not necessarily entail that one is a feminist, it would take away the significance of what I meant. Also, I am probably right, more of us than would like to admit are feminists, simply by being able to do what we want, when we want (within reason) and have control over our bodies, yet because this isn't what we tend to associate with feminism, we don't think that it fits.

This is what a feminist looks like

Feminism seems to have become one of those taboo subjects that is only discussed by radicals or academics, a subject that isn't willingly included in day-to-day conversations because it's a touchy subject and people will assume you're some crazy radical communist man-hater who likes to throw herself under horses just to make a point (or something to that effect). It's as though people just think, "You made your point in the 60s and got what you wanted, so shut up, please, women." But we shouldn't shut up, please, because we are still fighting an ongoing battle. For instance, sexism is still very much a part of our society and it goes unnoticed because it's usually not that extreme (unless you're David 'Calm down, dear' Cameron) or deliberately trying to insult a woman, it's still just the 'norm' in a way. In her chapter 'I Encounter some Sexism!', Moran makes the point that a lot of it comes from the men in charge, who were from the pre-feminist era so are used to sexist attitudes and those who are post-feminist, well, they are just subtle about it, but it doesn’t mean it’s not there, for example;

"Very often, a woman can have left a party, caught the bus home, washed her face, got into bed, read 20 minutes of The Female Eunuch and put the light out before she puts the light back on again, sits bolt upright and shouts, 'Hang on—I’VE JUST HAD SOME SEXISM AT ME. THAT WAS SOME SEXISM!'" (From How to Be a Woman)

Also, the average pay for women is still at least 30% lower than that of a man in the same position, but why? Women are most expensive to ‘maintain’; our clothes cost more, creating our appearance costs more, we are required to buy things like tampons and other feminine products, and we tend to be the ones paying most for children. All of this costs more than any ‘normal’ man’s, so as we earn less and spend more, we are left with even less money than is suitable for us.

Another problem for women is the way we dress, particularly as many clothes have become sexualised. This paves the way for sexism and is often used as a justification for rape. Just because a woman wears certain clothes, it does not mean she is interested in attracting men and having sex. She wears those clothes because she feels comfortable in them, or simply because there really isn’t anything different available. I try to dress nicely most of the time, I wear short skirts/shorts, tight clothes, high heels and make-up. But it doesn’t mean that I am inviting a man to come up and grind his bits all over my bum and try to get off with me when I am out with my friends, or rape me and say that I was ‘asking for it’. It doesn’t mean I am in any way ‘easy’ and I don’t like it. This is one of the main reasons why I hate going clubbing and if I want to drink, I will do so at home, or in a pub, where dancing is optional. I dress how I do because I think it looks nice, looks nice on me and makes me feel a bit more confident. I don’t dress this way to attract men, deal with it!

This is also what feminists look like

What I like about Caitlin Moran, is the way in which she addresses all aspects of femininity, focusing upon our sexuality; totally blunt, to the point and accurate. She isn't afraid to say what, effectively, we are all thinking. Most of her topics are supposedly controversial and come at a time where feminism has taken the back seat, yet everything she says should appeal to the modern woman (or man, for that matter) and encourage them to start being more honest with themselves about these aspects of humanity that should not be put aside and tabooed, – masturbation, abortion and so on – because we all experience these things in our lives, so why fight them. She wants us to address these issues in a 21^st century stance, and we should. We need to decide how the failed sex education system in our country effects women, the implications for the perceptions of sex as a result of pornography, the moral issues surrounding abortion and how to deal with sexism. What does all this mean to the modern woman, and why doesn’t she want to talk about it?


I never really got taught about sex as a child. Sex education involved stories about STI's and how to say no. When you suddenly start realising that you're becoming a woman, it is scary. You don't know what your body is doing, what you are doing or what you want to do. You fall into obsessive love easily, you have imaginary relationships, you get your heart broken, you think about sex, you have sex, you drink, you smoke, you take drugs and so on (obviously I haven't done all of these things). But it's not taught, you have to discover it yourself, and it's not ok to talk about it with people, so how can you understand what is happening? The teenage years are erratic and hard for anyone and it's not helped by society decided to tell you it's not ok to talk about it. We need to teach young girls and boys about this stuff before they become messed up in the head and do something stupid, be it dangerously stupid or just silly stupid. They need to know it's ok to explore and develop sexuality, to take control of their bodies and emotions. That's what our previous feminists fought for, and that's what we need to adhere to. It's not extreme or anything, it's just what needs to be done.

As Simone Du Beauvoir once said, it’s easier for women to just conform and accept the patriarchy than fight for liberation, and whilst I am not suggesting that women start another revolution against it in the same way the suffragettes or new-wave 1960s feminists did, I do think that it should be socially acceptable for people to talk about this kind of stuff. For women AND men to come out and say, “Yes, I AM a feminist!” and not be looked upon like some crazy extremist. We are always talking about the fact that women in third world countries have few rights and are trying to help them. But we need to help ourselves and address our issues before we start thinking about other societies!